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Healthy Relationships

Let’s face it. Being in a relationship doesn’t even come close to what is portrayed in movies and tv shows in today’s day and age. Being in a relationship is hard. Being in a healthy relationship is even harder. It can be a real challenge and like you need to constantly do everything right. But we’re here to tell you it’s not true. Yes, it’s hard being in a healthy relationship, but the hard things in life are often the most rewarding.

There is no formula to make a relationship last a lifetime, but there are things you can try to do to help when you or your partner are struggling. Healthy relationships are important because they enrich and fill our lives with joy. Sophie Holmes, an Australian family therapist, describes the importance of healthy relationships in saying:

“The urge for relationships, closeness and intimacy is built into the chemistry of our brains and bodies. Even young children need basic human love and attention to physically thrive. And it’s true to say that healthy long-term relationships can provide us with meaning and a sense of hope and support during times of loss and difficulties.”

Sometimes when we’re in a relationship, life gets in the way and it puts a strain on the relationship. Here are some tips and tricks that might be helpful to help guide you and your partner through the highs, the lows and the curve-balls life may throw your way.

Managing the time you spend together.

Obviously, being in a relationship means being close to one another and spending quality time together. It’s very important to find that balance between quality time and alone time, as everyone has different needs and expectations when it comes to spending time together. It could be beneficial for you and your partner to talk about setting some time aside to be together and some time to be alone.

It’s very important not to lose yourself in a relationship.

This means that it is important for you and your partner, as individuals, to have an identity and connections to other people outside of the relationship you share. What sometimes happens is, when in a serious relationship, people form entanglements. This means that you don’t feel whole without your partner or feels like you can’t live without them. This can lead to neediness, feelings of incompleteness or inequality in the relationship. Entanglements need to be taken care of on your own. Try managing your expectations and instead of waiting for your partner to change, consider seeking counselling and resolve what is causing the entanglement.

Understand the rhythm of your relationship.

No two relationships are the same, just like no two individuals are the same. You need to learn and try understand how your partner reacts in certain situations, like when you’re in an argument or when your partner is upset with you. Are they the type of person that bottles things up only for emotions to explode all at once? Or do they react with a lot of emotion and straight away when something is wrong? Knowing how your partner reacts in certain situations can help both of you figure out your how your relationship ebbs and flows and can help you moderate how you communicate with each other.

When life gets hard, stick with each other.

Life can sometimes throw us off course and it can put a strain on relationships. When your partner is going through a hard time, try to understand and be patient if they aren’t being themselves. Try to support and encourage them in any way you can and show them that you’re there for them through the good times and the bad.

Take time to listen When partners get into arguments, it’s very easy to say things you don’t mean, and emotions can run high. Remember that both of you are human and make mistakes, try to take the time to slow down and listen to your partners point of view.

If you and your partner feel like you need additional support, please don’t hesitate to call our offices.

References: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/in-focus/the-rhythm-of-healthy-relationships Relationships for the long term by Rochelle Masters